Following the sad passing of Benjamin Zephaniah, it seems appropriate to celebrate his genius with his seasonal poem “Talking Turkeys!!”

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don’t eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I’m on your side.
Benjamin Zephaniah (1958—2023)

Poem 300. Talking Turkeys!!

Be nice to yu turkeys dis Christmas
Cos’ turkeys just wanna hav fun
Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.
Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don’t eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I’m on your side.

I got lots of friends who are turkeys
An all of dem fear christmas time,
Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
An humans are out of dere mind,
Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
Dey all hav a right to a life,
Not to be caged up an genetically made up
By any farmer an his wife.

Turkeys just wanna play reggae
Turkeys just wanna hip-hop
Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,
“I cannot wait for de chop”?
Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,
Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain
In many ways like yu an me.

I once knew a turkey called…….. Turkey
He said “Benji explain to me please,
Who put de turkey in Christmas
An what happens to christmas trees?”,
I said “I am not too sure turkey
But it’s nothing to do wid Christ Mass
Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be
An business men mek loadsa cash”.

Be nice to yu turkey dis Christmas
Invite dem indoors fe sum greens
Let dem eat cake an let dem partake
In a plate of organic grown beans,
Be nice to yu turkey dis Christmas
An spare dem de cut of de knife,
Join Turkeys United an dey’ll be delighted
An yu will mek new friends ‘FOR LIFE’.

The late Benjamin Zephaniah was a vegan and a great advocate of animal rights. This is an outwardly funny Christmas poem but it carries two serious messages: one about animal rights and another about capitalism. “Talking turkey” is, of course, a phrase meaning an honest and direct discussion about an issue, so the title is a pun too. Talking Turkeys was the title of his first poetry book for children.

It is written in an African-Caribbean voice that would be difficult for someone of another heritage to perform without incurring the suspicion of mockery. Luckily there is an excellent recording of him performing the poem himself at the Hay Book Festival.

The poem opens with an appeal to “Be nice to yu turkeys” and reminding us that “Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked” and like us, “every turkey has a Mum.” He exhorts us not to eat these birds—“keep it alive”—make friends with it and show solidarity with the animal kingdom or the turkey part of it anyway.

The next stanza sees Christmas from his turkey friends’ side—”all of dem fear Christmas time” and they can’t enjoy it because insane humans keep wanting to kill and eat them, though every turkey has a right to a free life “not to be caged up and genetically made up/By any farmer an his wife”.

In the third stanza we get an idea of what turkeys would prefer to do: listen to reggae and hip hop music, opening presents and watching the TV—perhaps a performance of Hedda Gobbler or Wattle Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Moving swiftly on, Zephaniah rhetorically asks, “Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying/I cannot wait for de chop” and we are reminded that “Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain/In many ways like yu an me”.

The fourth stanza shows us his friend err….Turkey, who wants to know what the big secret is with Christmas trees and turkeys; he replies with the other key message of the poem, “it’s nothing to do with Christ Mass/Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be/An business men mek loadsa cash”: the central point of Christmas has been lost amid a cacophony of advertising for products and services we do not need but buy anyway, putting our money into the pockets of big businessmen and producing excessive waste.

He rounds off the poem by repeating the suggestion that we should bring our turkeys inside and offer them some food—”organic grown beans” or other greens: instead of killing and cooking them, we should join with them to encourage others to preserve the lives of these birds.

I like it because it conveys serious messages with comedy, so that we can appreciate Zephaniah’s sense of humour, his undoubted poetic talent and his commitment to his moral compass.

Poem 300. Talking Turkeys!!

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